#and now im most definitely going to buy the full game because thats what it took for me

[nervetower]

bad things happening to me

[sonknuxadow]

the fact that sonic x shadow generations costs 50 dollars makes me even more confused about the pricing for sonic superstars . because for a second there i thought they were going with the nintendo system of "all our games are 60 dollars now regardless of quality or content" now since frontiers also cost 60 and that price tag felt more reasonable there. but no sxs gens costs 50. which means that 60 Isnt the new default price for sonic games and they actually thought superstars was worth that much. okay

[neomedievalist]

i feel i've already said what needs to be said about this game and it's kind of just widely accepted anyway so no need to retrace our steps here. yes, it's mid. It's extremely mid. if i can say one thing before this post gets too long it's this: Do not fucking buy vengeance at full price. Do not even buy it at half price. i DO NOT trust them to take smtv and make it good.

Okay lets talk about this law ending. needless to say it's the weakest law ending i have ever seen and it sounds like all the other endings are similarly mid. I was laughing at it and literally said wow this sounds just like objectively good what is the downside here until it got to the last line (pictured above) and i was just like OH lol. it genuinely feels like an afterthought really funny. Abdiel is a great character concept and has some great moments and i fucking wish they made her more relevant it hurts so bad that their good interesting ideas always go to waste but she was definitely like the peak of this route. blonde boy is nothing but i like that they did something unique and interesting with the law rep even if it ended up literally being nothing.

Its hard to disagree that the most interesting part of smtv lore is the fact that the world has already been destroyed and the normal world is an illusion kept up by god. I was waiting for them to do LITERALLY ANYTHING with that and they did not but in my head this is definitely the motivation to do law route. I was thinking back to the like one conversation/argument between the alignment reps and i want to tear my hair out thinking about how the moral dilemna of this was not brought up at all. I'm glad it was mentioned for one or two sentences in the ending but it is just not fucking enough. i hate that they didnt show any visuals at all for the ending cutscene. like immediately im thinking of strange journey law ending and how powerful and eerie it is with the scenery and everything but WE DO NOT GET TO SEE what the new world we created LOOKS like at all. We also jsut fucking get abdiel and blonde boy nodding at us and smiling with no actual commentary from them.

I will say I did enjoy a lot of the final bosses. the two final dungeons are absolute garbage just like the ONE other dungeon in the entire game. but the boss fights i really enjoyed which is obviously a common thread in smtv, the entire plot and everything is mid but the boss fights do get me hype. The tsukuyomi fight is absolutely a highlight it might be my fav fight in the game it really calls back to older ps2 smt final bosses, and lucifer was also extremely fun DESPITE THE FACT THAT I DID A MAGIC BUILD. It goes without saying the gameplay is fantastic although i have quite a few complaints they never really stopped me from having fun and they really pale in comparison to everything else in the game. i found the exploration Not Fun and i have also talked about this before. abcesses are fun for the first half of the game and then they become excruciatingly annoying I do not know why they decided to make them disrupt the map its genuinely awful. I do NOT like the miman collecting glory system i honestly think app points worked fine as they were and there was no reason to change them like this but, whatever. It ceases to be a problem in the lategame because you get a ton of glory crystals. thats another thing i noticed i had so many fucking items by endgame like grimoires that level up your demons i had been saving them for endgame and i used like...20 out of the 50 i had because why not btu they were really not needed. I also feel like the skill inheriting system where you get essences and can just put any fucking skill on a demon is incredibly busted BUT i can't actually complain about it because i have the ability to just Not Use It. same thing with the grimoires. Also the mp costs in this game are so fucking weirdly high but everyone has said this already. i also hate that concentrate is useless now. and i still hate that phys skills cost mp. but again none of this actually stopped me from having fun it all just mildly pissed me off

I honestly think other than abdiel my favourite character was tao. she was really interesting and had a lot going for her. after they kinda killed her off it was just like oh ok. anyway. i feel like she was involved in most of the actually good plot development scenes in the game and her conflict was genuinely cool and compelling. but, whatever, we just have amaterasu now i guess. Yuzuru was nothing, I really do not give a fuck abt nuwa and her boytoy sorry, prime minister was kind of interesting, i literally forget every other character in this game. who was the girl with the green scarf and what the fuck did she do. where is she. did she die? i cannot remember at all.

here now i have to admit it. i do want to play vengeance because i'm a sucker. i would love for them to elaborate on all of these themes that were dropped. but i genuinely ...i picture myself paying $20 for it and still feeling ripped off. i've seen some people say it looks good and interesting so far and i have to say it does not look interesting so far. i dont care about the new things theyre doing they dont look interesting enough to make me have faith or be invested. what would make me, and what IS making US buy this game as smt fans, is blind faith in atlus that this will be SMTV BUT GOOD. and WE CANNOT HAVE THIS BLIND FAITH!! WE CANNOT!! we cant fucking do this. we trusted smtv in the first place to be good and look where we are now! just because they're making an updated version of a mid game doesn't mean it wont ALSO BE MID! WE CANNOT FALL FOR THIS!! DO NOT FUCKING BUY VENGEANCE!! IF YOU HAVE TO BUY IT DO NOT BUY IT FULL PRICE AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT BUY ON RELEASE OR PREORDER BECAUSE I STILL REGRET THAT SO BAD.

oh also the blatant nocturne nostalgiabaiting still pisses me off ive just talked too much abt that already in other posts it isnt worth bringing up again. ok bye.

After almost 3 years i have finally fucking finished smtv. post coming with my full thoughts and review shortly

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[spamtonsbigshot]

So I’ve got a possible Vento Aureo AU that i started thinking about a lot last night and i just kinda wanna post it here to have it all in one place.

—

Gionro - Vampire (for obvious reasons)

Fugo - Werewolf cuz i love him

Abbacchio - Probably a fallen angel, similar to how he was thrown out of the police force he was thrown out of heaven

Bruno - Probably human too, just a man in the cryptid woods who fell in love with an angel

Narancia - im tempted to just say catboy cuz im out of ideas

Mista - Satyr. Hairy.

Trish - cross between demon and human, has some demon features but otherwise can pass human

Diavolo - probably a demon

—

Background: Pannacotta Fugo

one of fugo’s grandparents (grandma) are definitely a werewolf that married into a wealthy family at some point therefore making Fugo a decendant. the werewolf genes skipped his parents’ generation and of his siblings, only Fugo got the werewolf genes. Fugos grandmother is the og werewolf i bet. Which is why Panni loves her so much and feels he can confide in her cuz he keeps his werewolfness to himself otherwise. idk how it managed to avoid his parents as he was young so lets say the genes kick in around like puberty age or something, as in he cant fully transform till later. so following VA lore he goes to college n shit right? and following phf lore he gets mad at his professor waving away his grandmas recent passing as she was the only one he was close to and goes feral in a literal sense. he calms himself down before anyone can come in and be like “wtf” so when hes found back in human appearance, holding a big school book, thats what people think happened and blamed it on that. After that, Fugo runs away into the woods and later would find Bruno in his cabin in the woods. Bruno’s a social outcast who used to be a fisher but after his dads passing he moved into the more wooded areas and settled there. Became a farmer maybe cuz he has to make money somehow. Because brunos lived in the woods for a few years he's befriended many supernatural creatures that live there in part just to get buy, he even has a sign that says "supernatural friendly" or something. So With fugo having run out into the woods, Bruno finds Fugo while on a walk probably and takes Fugo in after Fugo explains he has nowhere else to go. So Fugo becomes a farmhand basically and Bruno has some werewolf acquaintances explain sorta how being a werewolf works cuz fugo's only werewolf relative he knows of is dead.

Background: Leone Abbacchio

Leone WAS a guardia angel for a man of which goes unnamed. At one point, Leone took a bribe of sorts from a demon. The bribe was to keep the demon business in the area unnoticed by Angels. Later, said same demon and Leone’s human get involved on some way, and it ends up in the death of Leone’s human. Because of Leone’s neglectfulness and possible corruptness, he is cast out from above and thrown down below to earth. Abba probably breaks a tree nearby on impact when being struck down from the literal sky. Bruno goes to investigate and finds abbacchio in what looks like a meteor crash sight of his own making, theres also probably the imprint of angel wings its like a really cinematic shot probably. So bruno takes him back to his cabin and nurses him back to health. Abba was probably someones guardian angel and took a bribe from a demon that eventually got his human killed. Bruno, being all wise with supernatural shit, feels bad for him as Abba has nowhere to go. He teaches Abbacchio how to be a human and function in society that way theyre both earning something. Though, abbacchio is still an angel by blood and being and does not require stuff like food or water and therefore doesnt take up too much valuable supplies.

Background: Narancia and Mista

Narancia probably likes to absentmindedly stroll through the woods and sometimes isnt seen for a few days as he is a cat and can hunt for himself. Nara was probably abandoned and became an ally cat at some point and was bullied for being a catboy, people called him a freak and for him to go eat out of the trash and stuff like that. Fugo found him in an alley when in town, and when he looked at the cat in the dumpster, he saw intelegent purple eyes instead of feral cat eyes and new that this malnourished, injured cat was probably supernatural in some way and took him with him to bruno's cabin, later, nara just kinda becomes a housecat thats also a helpful energetic boy And on one of nara's long day long strolls, he encounters Mista, who is a satyr therefore he's pantsless (furry goat legs) and shirtless (cuz why not) narancia kinda keeps his distance for a while and comes across Mista a few times over the course of maybe a few weeks to a month, but eventually Mista gets into trouble and uses a pan flute to use some epic firest magic to kill off some harmful spirits. After witnessing that, narancia, now catboy and not cat, jumps out of the bush he was watching from to exclaim how "totally sick!" That was. They kinda talk and become friends after a while, narancia becoming less and less afraid to approach him and talk to him. They later become really good bros and nara invites Mista over to play games but since Mista has no clue wtf those are as he's a satyr that lives shirtless in the woods, Narancia teaches him how to play and thats when mista realizes he's catching feelings :) Also as a lil hc of mine im bringing in the possum i draw narancia with called Tutti Frutti Juul Pod (aka Tutti/Tutti Frutti) and theyre Nara’s friend basically and occasionally he brings Tutti home but Tutti remains wild for the most part 👀

Background: Giorno

Giorno grew up in the city with his shitty mom and step dad. No gangster saving this time. Eventually, lets say, Giorno's parents decide they dont wanna deal with him anymore and put him in an orphanage and so giorno just kinda lives a sad life for a while. Eventually, he gets adopted by Jonathan and Erina, (his ov dad still being dio but hes dead because its my au and i said so) so Jonerina adopt Giorno and stuff starts getting a lot better for him. After vampire puberty or whatever, giorno isnt going to be killed by the sun or anything it just kinda stings his skin and he'll get burned bad if he stays exposed to the sun longer than an hour or so. So he starts taking night walks. Eventually, on a night of the full moon while giorno's out on his walks (cuz hes gotta do something it gets boring in the house at night after a while) and giorno comes across fugo like, as he's transforming into a full on wolf. Fugo's kinda embarassed by the fact giorno caught him and upon seeing giorno watch him transform, he sprints away. Giorno thought fugo and his big ol white fur coat were really pretty and doesnt chase after him, but thinks about it. A month later, the next full moon and he sees him again, transforming. Giorno just kinda ponders who this pretty stranger is and this time stays more hidded and approaches him slowly. Fugo growls at him at first, but giorno's opener is "Hello, your fur is very pretty. I'm Giorno, Giorno Giovanna" and fugo gets all flustered at being called "pretty" so he decides to approach him, carefully circlin him and gathering his scent to familiarize himself with it. He decides giorno is not a threat, and decides to shift back to his more human complexion, though his wolf ears and tail are still very present, as well as sharp claws and teeth. Fugo gets all nervous and eventually introduces himself and they kinda continue walking at night. Gionro also explains hes a vampire and prefers to thrive at night. Fugo asks to meet up another night and giorno agrees. They continue like that for a few weeks till fugo eventually gives giorno his number, that way they domt have to just walk and talk at night, and their relationship grows from there.

Its such a long Post omg 💀 but thats what i have!

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4 Star Wars Journey to Batuu: Community’s First Impressions

When EA revealed The Sims 4 Star Wars: Journey to Batuu during today’s Gamescom Opening Night Live, players in the community took to social media to let their opinion on the game be known. The Fansite Simsvip ask players on Twitter what their initial thoughts were, so here is a collection of thoughts from players around the community…

It’s basically Strangerville but with a super niche audience. No one will get most of the references unless they’re a Star Wars fan. It’ll probably provide an hour of gameplay and that’s it. Ngl though it looks well made

— Sugar G (@appIause) August 27, 2020

I personally don't see a place for it in the Sims franchise as an actual in-world location. The Sims is supposed to be a life simulation at heart with fantasy thrown in. Not a badly disquised advert for a completely different I.P. If I wanted to play a Star Wars game I'd buy one.

— Alistair Stuart (@Alistu_Sims) August 27, 2020

It's a cool idea. For some reason I love shameless branding like this. It will probably be a nice change of pace at the very least.

— Paul (@ThePJBentley) August 27, 2020

It's not my favorite theme. But since it's here.. I'm going to take full advantage of it 😊

— Mimy S Flores (@mimysf1111) August 27, 2020

Definitely not a pack I would enjoy. Either for the game content. Storyline or the build and buy it all looked very uninteresting, I may still enter in some giveaways for the pack but this will be the 2nd pack including bowling I will never purchase. Just not enough in it:)

— JoJo🕵️‍♀️ (@JoJoPandaX) August 27, 2020

I’m not a fan of the movie series but this pack actually interests me

— Akane (@Aka_RoseGaming) August 27, 2020

Its unexpected but i think it'll be fun. And it also means i can make my swtor characters in sims so thats honestly what I'm looking forward to most with this.

— Shey (@Shey_Shen) August 27, 2020

I’m excited! I love the idea of missions to influence which side wins. I do think it will be fun to play with still might wait for a sale 😅

— Sophie is not Social (@SophienotSocial) August 27, 2020

I've sat idly by while knitting and laundry and university packs rolled around. They weren't my cup of tea or first choice, but I never tore down and ostracized those who were excited because the DLCs didn't fit my own personal expectations. I'm really excited for this pack! 😊

— LanceChristophr (@lancechristophr) August 27, 2020

Literally the first pack I have absolutely no interest in buying. I am very disappointed. It's fine for those who are fans and all, but I feel like this pack is so specific. I usually can find SOMETHING I like even in the packs that really aren't my gameplay style but this? NO :(

— Louise Laursen (@PurpleMio) August 27, 2020

Feel like we already had enough star wars content in the game. I feel like a into the future pack mightve been more well received. At least there are people who enjoy it though so can’t say no one’s getting anything good!

— bag of bones (@savantavocado) August 27, 2020

I hoped it wasn't going to be star wars when I heard. I don't have anything against the franchise, it's the fact that it' so highly specific and caters to a different audience is what baffles me. It's obvious that it's something that was pushed by EA to advertise their new game.

— 🍞𝙇𝙀𝙀💕 (@imCement) August 27, 2020

My thoughts were "Where is my Harry Potter pack?" Like boarding school for children sims, werewolves, fairies, etc.

— 🌈Jordan aka Snow🌈 (@Bookfangirl742) August 27, 2020

I 100% didn't need it right now. I feel like this was more an EA/Disney move rather than the core Sims team. Mainly because we need so much more in terms of gameplay, representation and playability. I could've got behind it if it was released sometime next year instead of now.

— Camille (@CraftyGamer89) August 27, 2020

I think the reason everyone has such an issue is that there are so many things the sims 4 is missing as a life simulation game and then they choose to put the time and effort into a star wars pack..i happy for those who want it but i get why everyone else is so upset

— Lauren Attwood (@LaurenAttwood69) August 27, 2020

We wanted more realistic gameplay and the gave us Starwars?!?! Why??!?!

— willemijn kroon (@williekr2000) August 27, 2020

im just... wow, at least I wasn't mad but rather sad how EA is so disconnected to the Sims fanbase desires and pleas for our favorite game

— I build anything and I stan OT9, OT4, & OT7! (@J_Lanz16) August 27, 2020

im just... wow, at least I wasn't mad but rather sad how EA is so disconnected to the Sims fanbase desires and pleas for our favorite game

— I build anything and I stan OT9, OT4, & OT7! (@J_Lanz16) August 27, 2020

Not feeling optimistic about it at all tbh, looks like it may have about as much replay value as Strangerville buuuuut at the same time it opens up the option to lightsaber duel Judith Ward so I guess I’ll give it a shot

— Dex (@Theyhrite) August 27, 2020

Excited for the droids and lightsabers. Seem like they can be fun and I image there will be a mod out soon for a lightsaber death since the sims will probably not give us one

— 🐁 ғᴇᴀɴᴏʀ ⟴🐀 (@_neonheart_) August 27, 2020

maybe if the game was more complete then sure but, the sims feels very empty and is lacking a lot. the last thing we need is a star wars pack right now

— heather (@heathermk_) August 27, 2020

i think it could be cool if your sims could actually live on batuu (maybe after completing the story or smth idk) but if it just turns out like a vacation world you go to once and then forget about it's gonna be disappointing

— cali (@caligumu) August 27, 2020

baffled, honestly. like. why is this a thing?! I have zero interest in farming or "better babies" but this just feels *really* out of place?? Strangerville has its appeal and Eco Lifestyle was just a very very bad case of "poor marketing", but this is just. 🤔🤔🤔

— Fae (@fae_of_the_rose) August 27, 2020

I said this before but... They are going to add light sabers before inclusive skin tones... let that sink in.

— Lil Ass Kicker (@Firelillx) August 27, 2020

THE SIMS 4 IS NOT IMMERSIVE ENOUGH FOR THIS TYPE OF NICHE GAME PACK!! They have refused to fix some of the most basic features (skin tones & babies) but they have the time and resources for these new special aliens??????? Make it make sense.

— whatamievendoin (@whatamievendo14) August 27, 2020

We already have Sixam which is not exploiting. Why take a franchise that does not reach the players. pic.twitter.com/aPhd1QBmZs

— The Queen alien -🛸 sims - (@The_Queen_Alien) August 27, 2020

Not at all interested.

— Sunshine (@sunshine0375) August 27, 2020

I was a little worried how this would combine with the Sims. It seemed so alien (no pun intended) to the rest of the gameplay. But after seeing the trailer I can’t help with being excited. It looks beautiful and definitely different. The build and buy objects look great so far

— Chantal Noordeloos (@C_Noordeloos) August 27, 2020

I’m still wtf’ing. It’s too niche for a game that is supposed to be a LIFE simulation game, too specific-to-star-wars-fans to appeal to a wider audience. It also makes me sad thinking about the future of the franchise when they seem so disconnected in what the community wants.

— Hayley Marie (@countrystrongau) August 27, 2020

What are your initial thoughts on the The Sims 4 Star Wars: Journey to Batuu Game Pack? Let us know in the comments below!

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober Day 25: Inspiration

<v< oh boi. Here we go. In order, these are the Cowgirl, Pirate Captain and Samurai.

I really like these tbh. I might color em ovo Okay so a somewhat story explanation:

Something Something a universe where the top criminals around the world compete in an extravagant VR competition to get their freedom and however much cash they make by killing other players <w< Here’s some of the rules:

- There’s a theme every year. If you refuse to cooperate with what you’re given, you get kicked.

- You always get a partner. No lone wolfing this. If you’re far from your partner for too long or they die, you lose.

- Many get their partners from their same prison/people they know, but if you don’t have a partner, there is time while at the start to roam the lobby and search for someone else that is free. You must be holding hands when you’re teleported into the generated world to cement your partnership in the system.

- Video game logic everything. Eating food heals you. You can use special moves in fights. A sword can block bullets lol. And unbeknownst to the gals, getting closer to your partner gives you power ups.

- This is open world. There’s a lot to explore and everyone spawns in a different place. When you find other partners, you have the option to duel them. By dueling them and winning, you get points that, if the player wins, get directly transferred into money irl. You can also use these points to buy weapons and items in-game. The more you fight, the more points. If someone with little points beats someone with lots of points, all of them get transferred. And so on and so forth.

Ok, here’s a rundown of these three’s personalities.

Cowgirl: I know I didn’t draw her body well enough ;o; but she’s super long and bony. Lazy, always drunk, always seems to make powerful enemies. Her voice is most definitely Coach Sue’s but with a southern drawl. Still haven’t fully idealized her partner (i had one idea but im rethinking it heavily oof)

Pirate Captain: Came to partner with her irl underling, a fellow pirate, but after bumping into Samurai and getting into a heated argument, the timer ran off and they got stuck together (both their partners getting stuck together as well). She is SHORT, super red haired, has a Cockney accent, and uh. Curves <v<” She is very rude, standoffish, and terrible with getting along with strangers. To her underlings, she’s been a good captain and loyal friend, but she has severe trust issues with anyone else. Being stuck with Samurai does not go well, needless to say. She keeps finding fights where there aren’t any, is distrustful of everything Samurai does, and becomes very critical when a task is completed not by herself. With time and plenty of battles, they will have a moment of exploding tempers that will finally cool them off for good. Pirate Captain will learn to trust... and once she does, she’ll also quickly be the first to start feeling something else huhu.

Samurai: Tall, quiet and secretly judgmental. Had a rough childhood that stunted her ability to show emotions and form connections. Her partner was an admirer of hers whom she found convenient, and she was confident in them being able to come out as winners, but now that she is partnered with an annoying firecracker that won’t shut up. She doesn’t show her distaste. She just continues to move forward... move forward... move forward.... it’s not working. They can’t work as a team, there’s so much wrong with everything, they nearly died TWICE and her partner is injured without anything to heal them. Samurai snaps finally, and with her outpour, the firecracker stays silent. Then they both start to cry. As silly as it looks, they keep shouting and venting and crying and they come to a resolution by the end. They have to do better, because they need to win. Together. That means more communication. More coordination. It’s a slow rolling ball with an awkward start, but it works. They both open up more. Samurai stops holding back on sharing their real thoughts and feelings, and learns to loosen up a bit. They become friends :)

Extra stuff:

Let me just say I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT PIRATE CAPTAIN’S FRECKLES rkjbgelkjwr D,: ive done her a disservice v-v Also uh. This story in particular would be rated M >v> not sure if id ever get the guts to write full on smut but suggestive stuff? oh boi i am gay and weak and pretty ladies in fights v/^/v I also tried for some reveal-iness for their outfits but all I could do was a bit of tiddy and thats def not something that occurs always XD just for these drawings <w< huhu

These are not the only ladies from this story u'll be seeing vwv

[zaptap]

since minecraft is in smash now heres my full history with minecraft

when it was still pretty new i started hearing about it (this wouldve been like, probably 2010 but MAYBE 2009???) and im like huh that game sounds fun

but i looked into it and you needed to buy an account (i seem to remember it being like a subscription model but idk maybe thats wrong) and of course back then i could only buy things myself using cash, and id have to convince my mom to buy anything else for me (example: i had $250 to buy a 3ds when it launched but it took so long to get my mom to order it for me that 6 months went by and the price dropped)

additionally you needed an internet connection to play. at this stage in my life i wasnt allowed to have internet on my computer and my time on the family computer was fairly limited, like as fun as this game seemed there were things id rather use my internet time for

so i forgot about minecraft for a while

then in august 2011 i went to my cousins’ house for a week. they got me to avatar for the first time (saw the entire first book while i was there) and introduced me to portal, as well as gave my my first proper introduction to minecraft

that game really pulled me in. i was mining and crafting for a few hours and got so into it i gave myself a migraine and went to bed early. worth it tbh

had a lot of fun playing it over those next few days. then when i went home i decided i needed to play it more. looked around and downloaded a version of it that was cracked or whatever so you didnt need an account and more importantly didnt need an internet connection (since it only requires that for the login process), and put that on my computer

so at that point i had it available for me to play at any time. id come home from school and just play minecraft for hours. i kept coming up with kind of ambitious projects like “hey that mountain looks cool i should completely hollow it out and make it into a cool mountain mansion with multiple floors all the way down” or “hey i should dig a secret passage from this island down under the water to my mountain mansion” that id only end up parly finishing

i only ever played in peaceful difficulty because the monsters were scary :o

i also remember going into creative mode and being like “hey what if i just dug a massive hole in the ground all the way down to the bedrock” and then spent hours trying to do that (i particularly remember having to manage all the water and lava blocks i ran into) until i finally got bored with it

i started looking into installing mods but didnt quite get around to it

im also reasonably sure i didnt even know changing the skin was a thing because i was really into doing pixel art back then and i wouldve been all over that shit and i definitely didnt mess with the skin at all

eventually i realized that i was spending so much time playing minecraft that i was neglecting other aspects of my life, like i got behind on doing homework for one thing

i’d reached the point where it didnt feel that fulfilling to play it. i think it wouldve been different if i was playing it with friends (which of course i didnt do bc i was offline), but at that point i decided that the fun of exploring and making things in that infinite world wasnt quite worth the drain it was having on me, and i made myself quit early into 2012, after maybe 6 months of playing the game at most

has now been almost 9 years since ive played minecraft. i think the only thing thatd bring me back is if i played it with some friends. it’s a good game but it can easily become Too Much

[hxseok-honee]

messy love | how they met

requested by @turtle-street ! i just didnt wanna give this long ass answer in the ask box so im doin it here uwu :

jungkook - y/n met jungkook when they were in college; she was in the year above him and already friends with jimin, and he just happened to take the seat next to jimin in his first class. he and jimin hit it off almost immediately, joking around for most of lecture and walking out together once the class was over. jimin had forgotten he was supposed to meet y/n after class because she told him she would buy him coffee to celebrate his first day of college. it didnt take jungkook a long time to fall for her tbh- actually it took the span of her introducing herself and claiming that she would buy him coffee too just because she wanted to. from that point on whenever he would see her - in the library, in a coffee shop, on the quad, etc - he would run up to her with a huge smile on his face and walk her to wherever she was going, even if he was late for something. and every time she would find him about to do something like skip class or ignore his basic human needs like food and sleep during exam season, she would scold him until he agreed to be better and then she would treat him to food and call him a cutie because she felt bad about yelling at such a good bean. this girl definitely started falling for him about a year after they met, on their one year friend-versary to be exact, when he showed up at her door with gifts and a big smile and a confession of how happy he was to have sat next to jimin that day because she was the one person on campus he felt completely comfortable around and that he was really grateful to have her in his life. that confession, man- that shit got her.

tae - y/n met tae at a party actually! in her second year of college, she decided she was gonna try going out and having fun more, so she went to a party with jin and had a damn blast. but when she got there she lost the older boy pretty early on and was forced to just wander around with an empty red solo cup in her hand trying to find a good place to park herself and stay for the night. eventually she found a little corner where she could see everything and look for jin, but she had no idea that she was standing next to the guy she would later end up dancing the night away with. tae was a first year, and while he’s not a shy person, it was his first college party and he was kinda just lingering and trying to find the right vibe. he was also holding an empty cup, something that he was really embarrassed to show anyone, but he just wanted to fit in for the night. at one point y/n glanced over at tae, but he was already looking at her. he swears he had only been looking for a second, but y/n always jokes that he was staring for like ten minutes before he finally got his attention. what actually happened is that tae noticed her because she had come to stand next to him and, upon a quick glance and then a double take, he realized her cup was just as dry as his. so he spent like five minutes trying to find something to say to her that wasn’t completely lame, but she caught him staring in the process. somewhere along the line they started talking quietly and realized that they had the exact same sense of humor. they also realized that they had some mutual friends  - tae had gone to high school with namjoon and hobi, and he had actually come to the party with them but lost them at some point. y/n doesn’t remember when she started falling for him, but his chaotic nature and sense of humor played a huge part in making her feel as excited as she did whenever he was in the room, and- well. tae had already fallen for her when he saw her empty cup at that party. 

jimin - y/n remembers the day she met jimin with such clarity that sometimes she thinks she’s still in high school. by the time jimin started his freshman year, y/n was already friends with yoongi and jin, and she felt pretty secure in all her friend groups. she really didn’t think she would have anything in common with the people in the year below her, but jimin showed up in her life like a whirlwind mixture of cute and crazy, and it still blows her mind that her little ball of squish is the same guy that tripped over his own shoelaces in the hallway and fell to the ground right by her feet all those years ago. her little sweet prince is the same guy who hit the ground like a rock and then proceeded to hide his embarrassment by staring up at her from the floor and awkwardly choking out the words“haha,,, looks like i’ve fallen for you,,, haha,,,” . to this day, whenever yoongi or jin wants to tease jimin, all they have to do is whisper those words and he’s immediately whining for them to leave him alone. jimin was a little uncomfortable to be around in those days, kind of shy and kind of painfully awkward, but after a few weeks of hanging out with y/n and the older boys, his inner squish revealed itself and she was just absolutely hooked on him after that, always gushing about how adorable and cute he was when he wasn’t around. 

namjoon - y/n met namjoon during her college orientation- he was that dorky kid sitting at the front who had collected all the pamphlets he could find and was sorting through them slowly because he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do with his free time. y/n was actually late to that orientation meeting, so the only seat left was the one next to him all the way at the front. she felt so humiliated when she sat down that namjoon took one glance at her and just passed her some pamphlets so that she wouldn’t look so unprepared . when the meeting was over and she was giving the pamphlets back to him awkwardly, he just smiled sweetly and asked her for her name. they found out after a few minutes of talking that they had a class together, at which point he insisted that she meet his best friend hoseok since he was also taking the class. that was how the three of them became so close -  and it was during exam season that he realized he was beginning to fall for her. it was one of those nights before their midterm where they were sitting in her dorm room until like 5 am just studying their asses off, but at some point in the middle of the night they all started acting like a bunch of crackheads and namjoon found himself laughing so hard that he couldnt believe someone as perfect as her existed. y/n fell for him not that long after - during the exam to be exact. she was so sleep deprived that she just found herself staring off into space for part of the exam, but she was actually just staring at the side of namjoon’s face for those ten minutes. at some point her sleep-deprived brain just registered how attractive he was, especially when he was concentrating this hard, and she was absolutely whipped for him after that exam [which she failed, btw, but thats fine].

hoseok - as namjoon’s childhood best friend, he was automatically dragged into whatever namjoon was up to at any point in time, and that included skipping lunch to meet namjoon outside of his orientation meeting for what sounded like something urgent. when he got there and realized namjoon just wanted to introduce him to a girl, however, he couldnt help that he tried to strangle joon for making him miss lunch. he almost missed the way y/n laughed at his threats and offered to pay for his lunch to make it up to him. “we have a class together now,, i cant have you hating me already”, she had said with a smile, and hoseok couldnt help the way he relaxed almost immediately, smiling back at her sweetly and saying that he couldn’t hate her. he didnt realize how true that statement would become as he found himself falling for her more and more every day, saving her a seat in lecture and holding her head up for her when she fell asleep in the middle of class. their days were spent bickering about the most random shit and trying to distract namjoon during class, and their nights were spent sending each other memes and making lunch plans for the next day. there was only one day in their whole time in college that they were unable to hang out as a full set of three - the day toward the end of their first year that joon caught a stomach bug and was confined to his room all day. that was the only day she and hoseok spent alone, and it became a late night sleepover filled with life talks, drinking games, and disney movies. at some point hoseok started drunkenly rambling about how much he loved her and namjoon, and how he was so glad to have turned his duo into a trio, and that he would never let her go. y/n almost kissed him that night, but she restrained herself. 

yoongi - oh, y/n fell for this bitch on s i g h t. he and jin had met in their freshman year of high school, and as the saying goes, opposites attract. where jin was loud, cheerful, and popular, yoongi was quiet, awkward, and preferred to be left alone. he was really nice, but he just didnt see the need to show people that. so he just stayed out of everyone’s way and let jin do his thing. and that’s why y/n was so confused by yoongi when she first met him. she was just barely getting to really know jin, but his friendship with yoongi always confused her. she had to admit, though, that the first time she met him, she could already see that he was really kind and just quiet, and she couldn’t help that she thought he was the most beautiful human she’d ever seen as soon as she laid eyes on him. she found herself following him places and bothering him all day, even when jin wasn’t around. but yoongi never complained. even with jin he complained sometimes, claiming that the guy was too happy to be human - but with y/n he never complained, just letting her follow him and poke at him constantly. yoongi always had a soft spot for y/n, as much as he claimed he didnt, but it wasn’t until about the end of his first year of college that he actually realized he had fallen for her. she had just received her college acceptance letter - to the same school as him and jin - and, to his surprise, she had called him instead of jin [something that jin still complains about to this day]. hearing her on the phone, sounding so excited and bright, after he had had a stressful and draining day - it was enough to make him smile and feel warm inside. it was then that he realized just how much he had come to love her voice and her personality, and it drove him insane every day after that. 

jin - y/n and jin have actually known each other the longest out of any of them; they met in elementary school. jin was that cute older boy who everyone liked and wanted to be friends with, and y/n was that crackhead younger girl who just wanted to run around with her friends and have fun. they were always kind of aware of each other, you know how you sort of know everyone you go to school with at that age but you never talk? they were like that. and then he left for high school and she forgot about him and that should have been the end of that - until she ended up at the same high school as him a couple years later and they made eye contact again on her first day. by then jin was growing into the kind of boy that did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. so he did what he always kinda wanted to do and approached her- he asked her what her name was and if she needed help getting around. that’s how they actually became friends, but y/n swears they were always lowkey kinda friends because she’s a nutcase, and jin just lets her say that because he lowkey thinks the same thing. and there’s no telling when they started to fall for each other, it was always kinda there with them- an attraction like the strongest of magnets

[cowplant-pizza]

Strangerville Review

first of all, thank you to ea for giving me early access to this game pack through the game changer program. all of these screenshots have been presented to you by the ea game changers.

Ratings:

CAS 9/10

Build/Buy 8/10

World 9/10

Gameplay 7/10

Story 6/10

Overall 7/10

So I really want to be as honest as I possibly can with you guys. Game changers get a lot of stick for licking EA’s asses but I don’t see the point in lying to you all and singing praises that I don’t agree with so just know that this review is my own words and honest thoughts. Lets begin

You can see both cas and build/buy items here. Credit to @wildlyminiaturesandwich for this!

CAS

I loved the CAS stuff, well, most of it. Everyone was so crazy about those dreads but I just wasn’t feeling them! I love dreads and basically always have my sims of colour donning them, but I felt like these just looked a bit weird? They fell awkwardly around the face and it looked like someone had used some hairspray to give it volume but really failed?? Idk, thats my opinion. I know a lot of people really love them so Im not gonna shit on that but I just felt they could’ve been made to look a bit more natural and a lot less stiff. Apart from that though, and the awful swatches on the cowboy boots and the low rise jeans, I seriously adored the aesthetic of the cas stuff. I loved all of the female stuff and the male tops were to die for. It’s a shame males got less stuff again, some more army inspired clothes or even tattoos could’ve been cool here but we need to remember that this is a game pack and not an expansion. For a game pack, we got quite a lot of stuff in cas. It’s definitely a western style with a cowboy theme, so if you’re not a fan of that, you wont like the cas stuff.

Build/Buy

I’m not a huge builder, but when I do build, I love vintage stuff and clutter! This pack definitely gave us both of these things. The debug menu is chock full of clutter that will be used in loads of different places. The only complaint I have is a) the style is very scify and probably wont be used in a home b) certain items in the debug menu that are to do with the story (ie. a hazmat suit) is just a parcel in build/buy mode. I get why that is but… it would’ve been cool to have the actual suit to place instead of a tiny parcel that the suit would never realistically fit in lmao

World

The world is beautiful. It gives me huge ts3 vibes. It looks like Willow Creek and Oasis Springs had a baby. My only complaints for the world is that you will get infected/possessed sims walking around and ruining the realism for you and also that most of my favorite parts of the world (downtown) are just deco.

Gameplay

The new gameplay is directly linked to the story but I decided to do them as two separate things because I enjoyed the gameplay actions more than the story itself. The new interactions were super cute but very limited and very repetitive. After you’ve done it once and had a giggle over it, it will probably get tiring to do it again… and again, which is what the story expects you to do. 

Story

To begin with, I was having a lot of fun with the story, until I hit a bug for whatever reason and I couldn’t obtain an item I needed to continue. A lovely game changer helped me and told me I could purchase the item from the debug list buuuuut that doesn’t really fix the issue in the first place does it. The fact that I had to cheat to carry on really just ruined it for me tbh. The start of the story was new and quirky and it felt super fresh. It didn’t feel like I was playing the sims, but a side game of the sims. However as I progressed, I was constantly reminded that I was playing the sims, as Johnny needed to eat and sleep and poop ect. So I ended up cheating there too and turning off his needs cause I just couldn’t manage both at once. Maybe that’s because I was rushing to finish the story for you guys, but it did definitely feel like you had to choose one or the other. I also decided to quit his job right at the beginning because already his days were so busy I had no clue how on earth I would finish in time if he had to go to work to. So after the bug, you had to start doing stuff and requesting items from people. And heres the catch: you had to be good friends with them. This was taking honestly forever so I had to cheat in order to get their friendship levels up. I don’t want to spoil anything sooo SPOILER ALERT DONT READ THIS IN THE BRACKETS [when you vaccinated a possessed sim and asked them to come and fight mother with you, you had to be good friends with them so they accepted. this was SUCH a drag because you needed 15 spores and 1 fruit to make a vaccine so if they said lol thanks 4 curing me but nah i aint gonna help you just wasted an entire vaccine. so i ended up just using mccc to cheat their friendships up to max so they couldn’t say no]. I know even now that I will not be replaying the story unless I have to to get rid of the possessed sims in the world. I LOVE the world and I really do hope there’s a way (or a future mod) to turn them off because they are really distracting from every day sim life. 

Overall

If you wanna buy this pack for the aesthetics and items I would highly encourage it. I personally think the items alone give us enough content to make it worth while. However, as I have said, I do slightly feel like the storyline is forced upon you where as I think it should be totally optional. Not all of us like stories whereas some people love them and I think whoever we are we should be able to opt in or out of a piece of gameplay that we purchase. If you wanna buy it for the story only, I would… eh… I dunno what I’d do. I wasn’t overwhelmed by it. It wasn’t shocking or creepy as advertised. But it certainly was a fun new type of gameplay that I am excited to see them use in the future maybe with some other ideas!

I hope this made sense, I just sort of word vomited all of this down! Hopefully some one will find this review helpful lol

[sanzart]

Haha, you may have noticed I reblogged my end of year 2017 just recently, having gone back through my blog to pick my favourites for this year. It’s funny because I wrote a paragraph about what im going to accomplish this year (2018) and it included things like “do my comic becuase im good enough now” & “start some 3D work because it’s the next step” & also “do more UI so I can get a job”...

Turned out I got a job based on what I had anyway my backgrounds and colourful concepts got me noticed, I didnt need to resort to GUI, and thats reassuring. I havent done my comic yet, though I certaingly tried this year with storyboards drafts and then doing a game for my brother which took up most of the 1st quarter of the year, building characters developing a quick draft style for it, I learned a lot I must have.

It’s been another strange year, full of personal revolations, but I’ve still managed to stay on track with my art and definitely imporve on my clairty and DEFIANTLY on my render quality. I know now the importance of actually finishing something and how long art actually takes to fully render, Watching my college render a promo-ready character from sketch, through to model and then painted over took basically all wekk 9-5pm.

All these lessons learned this year I think, and most recently probably the biggest one. Among all that I also learned, to tone down my high staurated colours, to work with hard surfaces, the importance of depth, and certaingly of refereneces. I learned that I needed to actually learn, and certaingly feed my concept art profile by reading getting inspired and understanding that it’s all about ideas, and THEN how much you can render them.

Overall what a fruitful year it’s been. I can’t wait for next year, it’s so far ahead but at the same time it goes so quick! I did not have time (nor mainly the RAM or graphics card) to occupy 3D, though im buying a new desktop computer in Janurary for mainly that reason and a upgrade of course. I did not have that much time for character and certaingly lacked during the summer once again. Perhaps I will do my comic this year, or finish a indie game, perhaps I will get myself to be full Art Director, or learn 3D environments, or perhaps again Id have only improved my ability to do adept jungle environments with the character in the rule of thirds...;D who knows, im exciting though!

January is going to be a busy month indeed, expect the most updates ever!

Link me your end of year slate! I’d love to check it out!

- Matt

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[tumblunni]

Brainstorming about my yokai watch ocs: Dimmy and Gorgeous Ambassador, the most cutest family

* My Dimmy's name is Blythe and they are nonbinary. Gorgeous Ambassador is male and i dont have a name for him yet. I was thinking maybe try and make up a dub name for kageusuo (anime exclusive pre evolution) that sounds like it could have been his nickname as a human? Cos his story is that he used to be a wandering mercenary in ye olde ninja times, i feel like itd be fitting.

* Blythe is the main partner of my protagonist in my yokai watch lp, basically the jibanyan of the anime of my heart. Their personality is mostly similar to the Dimmy in the anime, but i feel like theyre maybe older and more powerful than the average Dimmy? Like a weak low evolution yokai thats stayed unevolved for centuries and is actually more skilled and world weary than you'd assume. Protag just got lucky that she bumped into this one super magikarp, lol! Also i like to draw them looking more teenage age by just taking the regular Dimmy design and making the tail extra super long. They stand roughly twice as tall as the protagonist and can wrap around her shoulders like a scarf :3 Blythe is however totally unaware of their super powerful mega skill and is very self depreciating and low confidence. But Mallory totally sees them as a cool older sibling mentor figure and is always trying to figure out ways to make their tol squiggle friend feel included and valued :3

* the way Gorgeous Ambassador comes into the picture is that he was actually the same sort of figure to Blythe! Back in the ninja era Blythe was partners with another human, but he passed away in tragic circumstances and it led to their current depressed self. However he actually reincarnated as a yokai and has been trying to find his lil sibling ever since! I feel like he was a failure samurai who tried to protect people but was so weak he never could. And he was always broke and starving and begging to do any sort of miscellaneous jobs for anyone or even let them punch him in the stomach for a few coins. And he had just as much self confidence issues as Blythe but he coped with it by becoming a compulsive liar instead, always boasting and trying to sell himself as some legendary hero to keep from facing the truth. Since Blythe was a cute lil babby yokai at the time, they always believed their human master's tall tales and looked up to him, which made him feel really guilty and try harder to work on becoming someone this kid could be genuinely proud of.

* Blythe was first born as a household spirit. Cos i was thinking about what Dimmy would be before it became a ninja, since the medallium description says it 'got a job as a ninja to put its powers to use', so like it isnt really a ninja yokai but just a yokai thats a ninja? I guess?? I figured that the idea of being an invisible shadow supporter fit with household spirits/domovoi/zakishi warishi (probably mispelled that) and the various other similar creatures in mythologies all over the world. Just the idea that theres some sort of being that protects your house and if you give it offerings and take good care of the place it will protect you and your family. So yeah its my headcanon that thats how Dimmys are born, and that theres probably many variants wearing different outfits inspired by whatever type of humans they guarded. Tho yeh ninja is a job that works really well with their abilities so it makes sense itd be the primary representative of the species in the games.

* Human-dude-who-would-become-gorgeous-ambassador first met Blythe when one of his various failed attempts to get a job happened to cross paths with the family Blythe was guarding. This family didnt believe in such old suspicions and never gave offerings to their household spirit, so it stayed small and weak and was almost fading away. Baby blythe didnt know why their humans didnt love them, even though they tried so hard to bring good luck and clean the fireplace and stuff. So they felt a sense of kinship with this poor failure samurai who was begging for food on their doorstep. The humans of the household spat in his face and turned him away empty handed, but the tiny yokai snuck some rice from the pantry and gave it to him. They were surprised that he was able to see them, and he gave them the first thank you they'd ever had!

* Addendum note: i feel like gorgeous samurai was cursed with being able to see yokai from a young age and its part of whay made him so determined to become strong enough to protect people. Perhaps his biological family was killed by an evil yokai and nobody ever believed what he saw? And he wandered japan trying to save other people and always failing and being blamed for what happened, since nobody could see the real culprit. This reputation of being a liar when he wasnt = he ended up actually lying about how he was totally fine and not sad and also great and not hating himself. Its not really something he can control anymore, its like a stress response and it keeps getting him in trouble but he cant stop. "Yes sure i can save the day, i'm awesome!" only makes things worse when he inevitably loses again, whic only makes his self confidence worse and traps him further in the lies...

* so anyway, he became friends with this lil babby yokai and kept coming back to visit them and tell more tall tales of his grand adventures. And eventually he managed to help Blythe come out of their shell a little and agree to leave this house where they were only fading away. Haunting him instead, the lil shadow soon flourished back to full health from being loved for the first time. And their new big bro would always give them the biggest share of all the food even when he was starving, and always wasted his money buying things for them, and knitted them lil scarfs and just HE WAS A GOODEST BIG BRO! They also made a great team, and he was finally able to fight evil yokai with a yokai of his own helping him out. Things were good for a few years!

* Eventually though, they faced a foe too strong for them to defeat. (Not sure yet who it is, cos it could be cool if they faced it again in the present day for a rematch?) Blythe's human friend ran into a burning building to save the people being attacked by this yokai, but because he was already gravely injured he didnt manage to make it out in time. And blythe was just a tiny bab who wasnt strong enough to carry his unconcious body to safety. So their last memories of him are of crying and begging him to wake up as the house fell apart all around them, and eventually the flames swallowed him up. the tiny yokai just ran and ran away from their shame, and never saw an ashy figure rising from the ruins and calling their name...

* eventually after years of struggling alone and lacking meaning in life, Blythe had a chance meeting with our protagonist and thus begins my yokai watch 1 lets play! At the same time their yokaified big bro is still out there searching for them, and maybe one day theyll meet again...

* also i wanna go with the pre-evo the anime added of Gorgeous Ambassador evolving from a sad depressed vampire lookin dude. Even if the whole circumstances here are vastly different! But we dont really have any info on what kageusuo's powers or stats would be, so i guess i'm free to mess around with that? I like the idea of it being vampiric just cos i feel it looks like that. But instead of drinking blood maybe its a hunger for shadows? Which is actually beneficial to humans and makes them less overshadowed aka the opposite of Dimmy's power. So if you ever feel that you're radiating charisma with perhaps a slightly lighter shadow, maybe youve been inspirited by this guy! And then the evolution into Gorgeous Ambassador doesnt actually change anything at all, except just looking more fashionable and confident (which is absolutely a lie). His power already made people more fabulous while being unable to affect himself, he just worked a bit harder on himself to try and catch up with everyone else. Self care vampire!

* oh and in this interpretation the way that kageusuo would be integrated into the gameplay is that Gorgeous Ambassador would get a new ability that lets him switch forms in battle, rather than it being a separate yokai. (Tho would still have a separate entry in the medallium just for conveinience of being able to view both character models whenever you want) Stuff that causes low confidence would make him poof between forms, and itd just be something like more attack based vs defense based, or maybe having two separate personality stats so its like his AI is slightly more versatile than the usual frustratingness of most yokai? Srsly im still so annoyed at so many yokai that have two mutually exclusive moves and the ai is stupid about using them at the wrong time to cancel each other out. Like how Dimmy can be given the AI personality to focus on attacking and thus take advantage of its auto-skill to be good at dodging aka a glass cannon. BUT also one of its skills gives that same status to an ally instead, which by definition takes it away from itself cos 'dont target this other guy' means there arent many other options. So you cpuld alternatively play dimmy as a supporter who exclusively protects others with that ability BUT the annoying part is that even when you set an AI profile to one particular move it still only makes it LIKELY to do that and not guaranteed. So every now and again your attacking dimmy will cancel its own buff to protect an enemy, or your supporting dimmy will forget to support abd instead buff itself despite not having the attack stat build to take advantage of it. Plus you cant have both and switch between modes mid battle, so thatd be REALLY useful if one yokai actually could do that, and also could change stats to fit! Im not sure how to give it a trigger condition thatd let you sorta change at will but also not be 100% easy and overpowered. I was thinking tying it to his confidence could mean missed attacks turn him into kageusuo and critical hits turn into gorgeous? But thatd be TOO uncontrollable...

* oh actually i think maybe i'll nickname him Amber! Just cos my brain just mispronounced gorgeous ambassador and It Kinda Works??? Also its a kind of name that sounds very pretty but also has connotations of gentle shyness, i think. Matches the duality of his fake boastfulness vs his true self doubt.

* Oh and i also thought of maybe having Blythe evolve into Casanono, even though you cant do that in canon. I feel like turning into a pretty humanoid would be a good way to symbolize their growing confidence ans casanono/casanuva has a big nonbinary aesthetic in my opinion. Plus of course the fact casanono is a variabt of a confident yokai thats actyally shy. Originally older brother dude was gonna be a casanuva to match, until i heard about Gorgerous Ambassador and decided it fits him better (especially with that new anime form!) So now im thinking maybe have Blythe be both casanono and casanuva at once, similar to their bro's form switching? But itd be more like casanuva is a rare super saiyan esque powerup when they experience rare moments of confidence. Im pretty much just doing this because SADLY casanono is a joke character who is literally mechanically forced to be useless in battle. Its ability makes it harder to catch yokai which ia already goddamn difficult, and it wastes a skill slot too. As opposed to Dimmy who has a similar personality of always being ignored and depressed but its abilities are actually beneficial. Itd suck to go from Blythe being my mvp to being unable to use them at all, so this would be a way to still always draw them as casanono in comics to match their actual personality, but using casanuva in battle cos.. Well.. Yeah its the functional one of the two. Level-5 if youre listening please make casanono useable in future games!! Casanuva is absolutely the worst one personality wise so it sucks that the game agrees with his ego that he's great and also punches his depressed counterpart into the bin of ignoreness DESPITE BEING SUPER SYMPATHETIC AND RELATEABLE AND ALSO CUTER COLOURSCHEME

Anyway thats all the thoughts i have so far. Except oh also itd be funny if throughout the whole story blythe keeps talking about their dead brother as if he was the super best most serious hero and then when the protagobists actually meet him he's this gaudy dork XD

[fighterfortheforgotten]

PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

[myheartdoessink]

angela

im definitely a full believer that everything happens for a reason. there is a reason you came into my life. the life lessons that you have taught me in the last few years is something im going to take with me forever. at many points in our relationship i thought you were the one but with every argument is was followed by maybe this isnt for us. it doesnt matter because no matter what you were to me you had a such a huge piece of my heart and i think you forever will. the text that i read that night i know wasn’t the real angela. when i started to date nathan i think that was a wake up call for you that you need to move on and you were going to do whatever it takes to do it. i wish you would have told me how you were feeling then. i wish you would have told me that you saw something with us and seeing with him hurt you to a point of no return. i wish you have told me anything but you didnt. communition has never been our strong suit but anything would have been better than nothing 

i think this is truly what happened. i think that you told jamie at one point that i wasnt a fan of hers. jamie then, thinking as a manipulative person would, saw it as a game, like a revenge because people like her cant stand when someone doesnt like them and they are going to make sure that they pay. she was coming on to you, and guessing you denied it at first but loved the attention and her company but when you saw me with nathan you were like fuck it. jamie made it a mission to put a bad taste in her mouth about me and paint me in a terrible light. like im some evil person who just used you. i think at some points, it worked. 

you see angela, thats the difference between you and i. no matter any negative things i heard about you, no matter what point in our lives we were, i would never talk like the way you did about me. you were my heart, my soul, my fucking rock, and i truly thought you had my best interest at heart. maybe you did, maybe you didnt, buy after reading what you had said, you absolutely did not. 

i have read those messages so much i can read them to you by heart and to think that was only a few weeks worth? i cant imagine what else has been said or done. 

the night i read them, we kissed.  i dont know if it was just a normal kiss to you but it sent me on a different planet of emotions that i absolutely longed for. i fucking missed you so much. i missed your hugs, your sarcastic humor, your smile, your laugh, your beautiful big brown eyes, (your boobs/butt but that is a given), i just missed you. holy fuck did i miss you. 

i wish i wouldnt have gotten the covid vaccine that day because maybe things would have pan out differently. maybe i would have felt so much better and things would have escalated faster into us making love and maybe it brought back all the good memories we shared together. 

you went out for a smoke and ask me is it was ok. why? you knew you wanted to just to call jamie so why ask me if it was ok? i said i would kiss your forehead on a ventilator to have you just mock me later on to jamie. 

i wanted so bad for us to make love that night. i wanted for you to take a bath with me. i wanted us to have a good night because its been too long since we had one. never in my wildest dreams did i i think i would have discovered what i did. 

i took a bath and you passed out on the couch. i came out shirtless trying to give you all the kisses but you wouldnt budge. i tried to get you to the bed but you also werent wanting that either. now looking back on it is it because you didnt want to sleep in the same bed as me anymore so you could tell jamie you didnt? i dont know but i let you stay on the couch with fri. i went to your bathroom to make sure you had motrin when you wake up, you didnt so i gave you mine and put it in the bottle where you were sleeping so fri or roo couldnt get to it, and then i plugged your phone in. 

i saw that jamie texted you but at this point it was 3:30 am so i knew it my gut something was up. i stared at it hoping and praying it was just going to say “happy new year” or something work related. I tried to let it go but the more i thought about it, the more it was eating me alive so i looked. i shouldnt have looked. i respect you and i respect your privacy but it that moment i was selfish and wanted to know that was happening. 

when i read those messages angela i thought i was in an actual nightmare. i truly did not think that this was reality and i was seeing it right so all i could do was take pictures to know that im for real seeing what im seeing and that im not crazy. im shaking while righting this but i never thought that two people could be so mean and cruel and for what? i didnt do anything to jamie and for you to just go along with it and antagonize her about me at what point? let me take you through some of my racing thoughts while reading:

“this cant be real life”

“this cant be real life”

“i need to wake up”

“theres no way my angela would say this”

“this cant be my manager”

“im going to throw up, i have to stop reading”

and it was. it was my manager that you were having a full on affair with. now i am not upset or was i ever upset about you having a relationship with someone else. would that hurt? absolutely but i would have understood and moved on with some level of respect for you. but for this to happen with my manager? i swear to you i have never felt this type of betrayal and i hope to god you will never have to experience it and if you have, im so sorry. 

i can no longer take a bath, run, do anything or express my emotions/personal and vulnerable moments without thinking they are going to be said to others. youve broken the biggest bond of trust i had with someone and i dont know how im ever going to get that back, with anyone, or ever. 

when i left that night with my mom on the phone it was very clear you didnt care about my well being, you cared about jamie and protecting her. that was made more clear when i saw that even after i discovered the messages, you saw her the next day. 

i was going back and forth if i should tell cori. when reading the ccf policies and with encouragement of my family, i came to the conclusion that it was the best thing for me to do. i was that nothing bad would happen to you which is why i made the decision to go to cori. 

i know you cant see it right now and maybe you will never see it but jamie is a disgusting manipulative selfish human who has absolutely no right to be over seeing anyone. just try to put yourself in my shoes, there is no way i could let this continue any further. i needed out of g100 because i knew if i didnt, things would have gotten so much worse. 

bring it up to cori’s attention has brought on so many mixed feelings. on one hand, im happy i stood up for my myself and used my own moral compass to help. but on the other, i know i hurt you and thats what keeps me up at night crying and eating me alive. my therapist and family said i did the right thing but it feels so fucking wrong. i dont care what happens with jamie (to an extent) but with you, angela when i say that the last thing i ever wanted was for you to get hurt, i truly mean that. ive said it before and ill say it again, i would take all the suffering in the world if it meant that you didn’t have to. 

i dont know when we will talk again or if we ever will, but im writing this with the most heaviest heart, i love you. even though you said those things and you did what you did, i feel like i know the true angela and i forgive you. i hope someday youll find it in your heart to forgive me too. 

i told renata to make sure you’re okay and all i can do at this point is let god and the universe take its course. i hope one day our paths will cross again. 

time heals all wounds. i have to say goodbye for now. 

i love you forever and always sis, 

liz

[wanna-17]

joshua highschool!au

summary: you and joshua hong were strangers at a tutoring academy but what happens when he moves to your school and you guys bond over music and small cute moments?

genre: fluff, slice of life, semi-real life 

style: bullet-point 

length: 4.4k 

a/n: so this is something i’ve wanted to write for a while because it’s actually semi real life (not me ofc i cry someone i know) and i think their story is super cute. i’ve made some alternatives e.g. in real life it’s a church/school setting but because i’m posting on tumblr i decided to change it to a tutoring academy/school setting. but do let me know if you want a  version of the original setting :) also this ended up being really really long (mainly bc i know like a lot of exact details and wanted to include as much as i can) and im unsure if you guys like my writing style but im hoping to improve more over time as i hopefully write more bullet point styled scenarios :) 

so you’ve been going to this tutoring academy for a while and you go like once a week

you actually look forward to tutoring bc u were actually put in a really good class where everyone is friends and even have a group chat for memes 

anyways theres this guy called joshua who sits at the back

and hes like the most handsome guy in the class and all the girls /not so/ secretly fawn over him 

and like there are loads of rumours about him which claim that he opened his own lil company that makes apps and stuff which earns him $$$ at the age of 12 and how he like used a drone to capture the whole of his relatives wedding and how he like mastered 3 instruments and is a tech genius and on top of that really smart

which you obviously dont believe because thats not even human ??

anyways you do admit he’s sort of ok-above-average lookswise but u aint that shallow because he has a bad personality and you just hate him 

but you have evidence for hating him !! 

one time you accidentally walked into him verbally being mean to this other poor guy 

so you naturally just assumed he was a bully and had a bad impression of him

you thought he was a prideful annoying rude and horrible person 

and you just dont understand the hype about him at the tutoring academy 

like they literally give out flyers with his face on it ?? umm ?? what marketing purposes lmao 

anyways one day at tutor

your friend kyulkyung is like omg did u hear joshua is transferring to our school next year hdkhfaaku

kyulkyung is highkey a fangirl of him and always tries to talk you into him being a lil angel and nice person but you just snort lol

anyways you obviously dont care that he’s going to your school next year so you just shrug whatever 

later that night when u get home u get a friend request on facebook from...dun dun DUNNNN what a surprise joshua hong 

and you’re kinda like well ok ?? no harm in accepting a friend request 

you accidentally click on his name too and think oh well might as well stalk him a bit 

and damn his fb profile is super interesting bc he actually posts a lot but its not like dumb stuff boys usually post about video games 

but like cute family pictures of him and his lil bro and you’re like this boy is family oriented i LIKE 

then you suddenly come across a video...of this guy from your tutor...on kids masterchef

so u watch it and its the cutest thing ever 

lil joshua stirring an egg and trying to make an omelet hehehe

and omg apparently he made it to the semi finals of KIDS MASTERCHEF???

you keep scrolling down and thats when u come across the evidence of him opening up his company with an app and tech jazz and u r like is this guy even rEALL

you’re still doubtful tbh so u go the appstore and type in his app and it comes up...even with CREATOR OF XX APP: JOSHUA HONG ???? you literally fall off ur chair bc wow 

he cooks, he makes apps, he’s family oriented..that is all i need in a man HA HA 

so next time at tutor u see him ur lowkey like the other girls staring at him bc wow he seems decent all of a sudden lol 

ur other tutor friends are like: u r so lucky y/n josh’s gonna be at ur school 

and ur kinda thinking maybe i should befriend him now cos he’ll defs be super popular at school 

but tbh this fawning literally stops after 2 days and you go back to reality and focus on ur studies and all that 

well as for joshua he doesnt really know u too to him ur that cute girl from tutor nothing much 

fast forward to the next year ~

you kinda fully forget that josh is even coming 

so the first school day back is all nice and chill and u get to ur fave class music heheh 

you love music bc it really helps u concentrate and you also play clarinet and piano and love it 

you’re also topping the class and sometimes you think you wouldn’t mind being a music teacher 

so in music u take a seat next to your friend seungkwan who has power vocals and plays trumpet and when he sings at school performances you always accompany him as a pianist with woozi on drums 

you and suengkwan are just chatting and catching up about holidays

when the teacher walks in followed by a student and you see that its joshua 

and you’re like thinking o crap this is really awks i should hide

before u can do any of that tho he kinda makes a  beeline for you and takes the seat next to u cos he only knows u in the class haha 

and you’re literally looking the other way and u pretend u dont notice him take a seat next to u and you’re overly engaged in conversation with seungkwan

but seungkwan being the lovely and outgoing kid notices joshua and is like: hey!! are u new dont think ive seen u before

seungkwan is friends with everyone and everyone loves him back

joshua: uhh yeah i’m new 

and seungkwan is super excited and like welcome!! i’m seungkwan and he sticks his hand out and is like and ur name is?

joshua is like i’m joshua 

and seungkwan is like oh btw this is y/n 

and it gets super awks cos u guys know of each others existence but maybe have talked like once when he had to pass u a bag of chips at tutor and u were like thank u 

and seungkwan senses something and eyes you guys back and forth 

after 837491 decades josh breaks the silence and is like hello y/n in a really meek voice

and you awkwardly smile and say hi 

luckily class starts and the teacher introduces joshua to the class and asks him what instruments he plays 

and the rumours prove to be true - he plays 3 instruments piano guitar and flute the real life guy cant play piano lmao

teacher asks him to demonstrate with the instrument hes most confident in 

and so he starts playing the guitar to the tune of fireflies by owl city and also shyly starts singing to the lyrics check out how cute joshua is playing fireflies on his guitar here IM sOFTTT

and everyone is in awe at how good he is 

and you lowkey feel your heart rate increase bc boi you love guys that play guitar and sing well 

the way he sings is very gentle and sweet and the way he strums the guitar with his long fingers and how his eyes are full of gentle passion just makes you sWOOON

and somehow the way he sings with his emotions poured in just really touches your heart 

after his performance everyone starts clapping and some girls even stand up and cheer lmao 

he gets back to his seat and seungkwan gives him two thumbs up and says: bro are you kimbap kidding you were great you really should play guitar for me next time i sing

thanks says joshua bashfully and he kinda looks over to you with a hopeful look as if hoping you’d say something too

so you’re quickly like: yeah you were really good :)

josh: thanks y/n

anyways the teacher shushes everyone and is like: let me announce your first assignment! it’ll be in groups of 4 and it’ll be a cover of a pop song of your choice which you’d have to arrange yourselves. if you need help, you are welcome to ask other classmates that have experience in arranging or to ask me

whenver its group work you and seungkwan always join woozi

woozi comes over to you guys 

and then both woozi and seungkwan are like to joshua: wanna join our group pls

and so joshua joins your group 

and everyone else in class is jealous lmao because u 4 are definitely the top group with all the musical geniuses 

ur kinda happy that joshua joined ur group bc he’s really good at guitar 

and so u guys decide that u will do keyboard, joshua on guitar, woozi on drums and seungkwan on vocals 

and y’all learn that joshua knows how to hack into arranging music programs for free 

and woozi is like: WHAT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE????

also shows u guys that infamous app you made and he has some secret code so u guys can download it for free instead of buying it for $15

ur group actually gets along really well and has good dynamics bc everyone has great ideas on what songs to do and how to do it and stuff 

and its actually really fun with them even though you’re still awkward around joshua for no reason and he’s kinda shy too lmao

joshua suggests doing “breakeven” by the script 

and u have a fangirl moment bc u love the script and everyone agrees that its a great song choice :)

anyways one day you guys decide to meet after school to practice and  to refine the arranged piece which joshua and woozi did 

BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON seungkwan can’t make it anymore bc he has to babysit his little brothers and woozi has a student council meeting 

so its just you and joshua

and you two have never been like alone before like during group practice you guys make small conversation when the other two there and its all good and sweet but this was gonna be AWKWARD 

anyways so you try to initiate conversation by asking how he’s finding the new school 

and he just gives a short answer: pretty ok 

and it becomes you two just asking each simple questions and giving short replies

but its only when you he asks you how you started getting into music that the conversation really starts going somewhere because your eyes light up while talking about music and so does hie eyes

and you guys talk about how classical music is so under-appreciated these days and how mozart is a music legend and just the beauty of music etc. etc.

and in no time its getting really dark and you both have to head home

you guys walk to the bus stop and he gets on your bus 

and you’re like: hey i don’t think i’ve seen you catch this bus before?

joshua: yeah, but this bus also takes me home there are two buses that stop near my home!

you: oh ok cool 

from that day on you and joshua actually got super close due to both your love for music

you guys always practiced together with seungkwan and woozi even when the group performance was over (and your group topped and got A+!!!!!!!!)

you also encouraged joshua to join the school band club which seungkwan and woozi were also part of

you literally baited him in because the school band club was going on tour to europe next year to get some sick masterclass training and perform at famous places in austria 

so he basically joined so he could go to europe ;)))))) HEHEH

and even though you guys have different friend groups you guys sat near each other in the classes you shared, went to band club every monday morning at like 7am and also sometimes grabbed food together before tutoring 

this was when literally EVERYONE at tutoring and school started shipping u two together and you’d get embarrassed and joshua wouldn’t really say much either 

and to be honest deep in your heart you thought joshua was the ideal boyfriend but you had a rule where you weren’t gonna date in high school bc you wanted to focus on studies and you thought that high school relationships dont last and that they were pointless

and you’ve never really had a crush before so you’re super clueless lmao 

one time students in ur music class volunteered to busk on the streets and you thought it’ll be fine so u and ur squad (josh, seungkwan and woozi) all signed up for it ^^ 

BUT when the day came around, woozi had a really bad fever and couldn’t get out of bed and seungkwan’s mum had to show up to work so seungkwan had to babysit his little brothers again

and so the busking was at school ..,,, except when u got to school the gates were locked AND it literally started pouring 

you regretted not agreeing to your mum driving u bc u were a good daughter and didn’t want to bother her when it was her birthday 

you also regretted not bringing an umbrella with u as u didn't want to miss ur bus 

and so there you were soaking wet in the rain on a saturday morning not pleasant 

you didn't know what to do and none of your gal friends were busking and u didn't want to bother them so you ended up calling joshua and he picked up in 2 rings 

joshua: hey whats up?

you: sorry to ask of this but are you almost at school? because the gates are locked

joshua: oh really? i’ll be there in like 1 minute

you: ok see you soon

and in exactly one minute a car appeared and joshua hopped out with an umbrella

and he had the most concerned expression when he saw u soaking wet without an umbrella

joshua: omg y/n are you stupid why dont you have an umbrella

you just sighed as he held the umbrella above both ur heads 

joshua: why don’t we go inside my mums car before we decide what to do i dont want you getting sick :( 

you guys headed to his mums car and he just held the umbrella above both your heads and you noticed that it covered more of you than him

he could have easily put his arm around u so he wouldn’t get wet at all 

but this was one thing you came to notice and really admire about joshua

that he’s such a respectful gentleman 

whenever you befriended a guy you’d low key make it clear that you weren’t interested and just jokingly friend zone them 

he never made you uncomfortable with his actions or words and always 100% respected you and kept his boundaries 

anyways soon u guys found out that you had to enter the school from the back gates instead of the front  gates and the rain slowly came to a stop

cue: joshua’s mum eyeing you two in the rear mirror from the front lmao

anyways the day went well and you guys had a lot of fun busking together and even got ice cream together afterwards :)) 

next year rolls around and you guys have only maths and music classes together but still hang at tutoring

its  valentines day and tbh u never expect much because you’ve never received a red rose you’ve only gotten those  yellow friendship roses 

but during roll call the person giving out roses is like: y/n a red rose for you!!!! and you’re so SO happy bc who could be this secret admirer??

the rose also came with a super lame pick up line “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

you were so curious as to who it was 

joshua: oooOOOHHHH whose the unlucky guy pls we all know its you lmao

anyways europe FINALLy  rolls around and heck u are keen to visit mozart’s house

some of your girl friends like eunwoo, yuha and roa are also going 

when the whole band club arrives in europe every day is busy busy with music workshops and such and its only 5 days in where the teachers who came on the trip give the students like 3 hours of free time

teacher: ok u guys must be in a pair at least so u don’t get lost!!

however, all ur friends only want to go shopping while u wanted to take a walk and admire the scenery of europe 

but then someone taps you on the shoulder and u turn around and its joshua 

joshua: hey what were you planning to do during the free time?

you: i wanted to look around and see the architecture and the scenery and stuff but everyone wants to go shopping :( 

joshua: oh really! thats so good because me too i’d rather take a walk around here rather than go shopping; all my friends wanted to shop too 

you: omg thats great we are always in sync arent we haha

joshua: yeah we are! let’s go together then?

so you and joshua walk around the land of austria and admire the beautiful architecture and takes pictures of the scenery and visit all the pretty churches 

it’s literally your favourite day so far in europe bc you’re so happy ahhaa

(little did you know tho seungkwan literally refused joshua to hang out with him bc he was so sick of seeing joshua tiptoe around you. seungkwan: I BEG U TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME WITH HER PLS BE ROMANTIC PLS CONFESS ALREADYYYY)

so that night dinner is also free time so students can choose where they wanna go to eat and seungkwan joins you guys and you guys all end up in a really fancy and aesthetic restaurant 

where the lighting is dim, there are lit candles and roses hung around and its literally a beautiful restaurant

you’re super oblivious but seungkwan is like glaring at joshua the whole time and kicking him under the table 

while they’re having a staring contest you’re just chatting away about how much of a great time you’re having and how this is the first time in your life you’ve been inside such a nice restaurant and  chugging on your food 

after the meal you take a toilet break and little do you know while you’re doing so seungkwan is giving mediating lessons to joshua so he can calm down 

and by the time you get back seungkwan is gone

you: oh where did seungkwan go?

joshua: oh he just went to chat with woozi

you take a seat and is like: so do u reckon we should head now?

and then joshua is like: actually there’s something i really want to say to you

and you just look at him super confused bc did something bad happen?? and you’re just super clueless and oblivious to his feelings towards you

bc the reason why ppl even ship u guys in the first place is because everyone can see how the way he stares at you, cares for you, catches your bus thats a 15min walk to his home when there’s one that stops directly in front of his home, how he always helps you with work, how he always encourages you to not give up whenever you’re having a hard time 

and then joshua is like: y/n you probably have an idea already but i really like you, i like you a lot. i’ve liked you since we got ditched by seungkwan and woozi in music class and we ended up talking about music and had a proper conversation. also the rose for valentines day this year, that was me too 

and you are S H O O K 

and your mind is blank

and then you blurt out the dumbest thing ever 

“sorry i only see u as a friend and dont want to date in high school”

.....

teacher: ok guys we are heading back to the hotel now!!!!!

joshua’s eyes and shoulder’s drop completely and he looks so discouraged and sad

and you’re brain is just confused as to what just happened...you suddenly feel hurt? lost? 

you told yourself never to like anyone and up until now you’d never felt your heart race for anyone...you suddenly felt like you lost someone precious....someone special...

you guys part ways and head back to your respective friendship groups 

and the moment you get back to the hotel you head straight for your room, not wanting to talk to anyone about what just happened

bc girl u needed time to process what just happened and to really think bc you’re heart was aching for some strange reason 

(obviously you were oblivious to the fact that you had always liked joshua the whole time sighs) 

you can’t think straight so you decide to call ur sister nayoung 

you completely forget about the time difference between europe and australia 

and so when nayoung picks up she’s groaning into the phone: IDIOT ITS 7AM HERE AND A SATURDAY I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP 

you: you won’t believe what happened

nayoung: what did you get a boyfriend lmao

bc before u went to europe ur sister always joked about finding a handsome european guy with a cool accent lmao

you: not really no

nayoung: WHAT 

so you tell your sister everything that happened and how you felt so empty and lost after rejecting joshua and unexpectedly you even start crying 

and you can hear your sister sigh over the phone

nayoung: look y/n, the fact that you’re crying and even more confused obviously means you like him. to be honest i always had a feeling he liked you and i also thought you liked him too. these days all you ever talk about is him at home and you’ve never said a negative thing about him,,, you totally like him 

and you being a stubborn one are like: “no he’s my friend a really close friend that i trust, he’s basically my brother, its like i lost a relative” you sob

nayoung: remember in weightlifting fairy kim bok joo...do you think you’ll be okay if joshua wasn’t by your side anymore? think about it carefully, thank about all the times you relied on him in the last year sorry had to bring in weightlifting fairy kim bokjoo because #swag forever and this part actually happened in real life bc the girls sister said this lmao

and well it was true that you’d relied on joshua too much recently there were times where you were struggling and u turned to him for advice in particular that time where you were considering dropping out of music bc it was getting stressful and taking up so much time

and no matter what your family and friends said you wouldn’t listen but when joshua advised you mind u with the exact same things nayoung said you somehow trusted his words and he was like your rock at times and always willing to listen to u and encourage u 

by this point more and more tears were flowing and you didn’t even know why YOU LIKE JOSHUA BUT U R OBLIVIOUS POTATO 

nayoung: maybe you can tell him that you were flustered so you can rethink it again you might regret this later

you: ok thats a good idea ill try to...

and after nayoung the best sister in the world pep talked u and lectured u for the next hour u finally decided that you would reconsider ur decision and let joshua know 

you were dreading the awkwardness bc ever since the confession u guys had not talked and avoided eye contact at all costs 

you sighed and decided to sleep so u wouldn’t have to think about it for now and deal with it tomorrow

meanwhile in joshua and seungkwans room 

josh: seUNGKWAN U LIL IDIOT she freaking rejected me this is the most embarrassing rejection in the world how will i live after today??????

seungkwan: i dont get it tho y/n clearly likes u why would she reject u i even asked y/n’s sister nayoung to see if she had a crush on anyone 

josh: i’m never talking to u again seungkwan do u know how hurt i am 

*cue seungkwan trying to make joshua laugh by acting out natural disaster scenes from american movies lmao* 

so the next day you’re trying to find the opportunity to talk to joshua but he was always surrounded by ppl 

and u were so nervous bc u had planned what to say in ur head and despite the weather being -2318 degrees Celsius u were sweating from head to toe 

anyways right after breakfast and before boarding the bus u finally see joshua by himself because seungkwan had gone to the loo 

and you slowly approach joshua taking deep breaths because u were about to face the most awkward conversation of ur life 

but before u actually reached joshua he saw u coming and awkwardly looked away as he rubbed the back of his  neck

but u had to do this nayoung was right what if u regretted this and took this to ur grave he was the one guy u were so comfortable around and u could be yourself and he was so supportive and not to mention cute and smart too 

you: hey josh

josh: oh uh hi y/n

you: ummm look i wanted to talk to u about ummm yesterdays events 

cringe it was already getting so so so awkward bury me in a hole already

josh: ahhh ok sure what do you need to say?

you: the thing i’m really sorry about what i said yesterday...tbh i was really flustered and i just ended up blurting that out i hope i didn't hurt you. but i wanted to ask if u could give me a chance to reconsider what u said bc ur a really great  guy and i think i’ve never seen u in a romantic way before so starting now i’ll seriously consider your feelings for me and also work out if i have feelings for u 

and u were so embarrassed and u felt ur cheeks go red  and ur looking at the ground

josh: a chance? i couldn’t even get a single minute of sleep last night says josh jokingly

you: omg really im so sorry :(

josh: its okay im really happy that you’re giving me a chance ;;; like tbh if u think about it, we go same tutoring, see each other in band club and even share closes together...we really can’t be awkward around each other so i was thinking of approaching u and telling u that its ok if u didn't feel the same way

you: *blush* yeah thats true.............

josh: so y/n dont be awkward anymore ok? lets go back to the way we were

you nod sheepishly 

josh: and just give me your answer when you’re ready,,, i can wait an eternity for u HDJWFHWWK CAN YOU IMAGINE JOSHUA ACTUALLY SAYING THAT I CANT EVEN 

and yay its all good between u guys and no awkwardness and you guys back to your usual relationship

and like the more you think about it, you find urself falling for joshua and noticing just how handsome he was and how kind he was 

and you just really liked the fact that he was such a gentleman 

he didn’t push you about your feelings, he continued to respect ur personal space and he didn’t make moves on u and just continued to be a good friend 

but u heard from seungkwan that he was hurting a lot inside even though he smiled whenever u were around 

and u didn’t like seeing him in this state 

so you decided on ur answer !!! 

(bc ur heart fluttered so much whenever you were around him and u started actually caring about ur looks and how he thought of u) 

it was first period at school and it was music class

like 97% of music classes it was just practice 

and u purposely get seungkwan and woozi to practice with all the other students 

so u and joshua are just sitting on the stairs and joshua is lightly strumming on his guitar looking like a prince i tell u 

and u guys are just chatting away normally and u tell yourself i need to say it its okay it’s normal i’m just gonna say it 

and u probably have a super panicky look on ur face 

and josh is like: r u ok y/n?

you: im fine..it’s just that i wanted to tell you something...about u know...that

and you see josh’s face literally drop and he stops strumming his guitar and mumbles: oh

because joshua thinks he’s gonna get rejected for the second time rip 

and you’re really flustered again so you’re like

“i like you too, i want to give us a chance i can’t afford to lose you”

and literally the josh’s mouth curls into the biggest grin and u can see his eye smile hdahfoeifhq

and he looks you in the eye: y/n will you be my girlfriend starting from today?

you: yes i will joshua 

IDAHLQF QYES FINALLY YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER

literally everyone is happy and suengkwan wants to throw a party for u guys

basically at school u guys are the music couple bc u guys sometimes do duets and are always defending each other when other ppl say that classical music is dumb 

and one time a teacher was super mean to u and joshua stood up for you and you are like where did the shy joshua go 

you guys perform a lot with the squad aka seungkwan and woozi 

joshua even shouts seungkwan bc seungkwan played a big role 

*nayoung in the background: what about me :((((((* 

and like at tutoring the tutor, jeonghan is even happy and is like to this kid: pass me $10 i said so they’d get together this year lmao 

i just realised i forgot about kyulkyung lmao 

kyulkyung is so happy and loves third wheeling dates to get free food lmao bc joshua is such a gentleman and insists on paying all the time

but eventually u guys decide to take turns and agree that he can treat desert 

and yeah you guys are couple goals because super supportive of each other, always watching out for one another and you guys only have eyes for each other 

ok i need to end it here lmao its like too long

and yes this girl got confessed to in austria (when they live in australia) its actually so romantic tbh im not jealous at all *wiggles eyebrows*